Dear Santa,
Of all the years, this year, I think we’ve all earned a bloody brilliant Christmas. So, in true contrived advertising article fashion, the only thing I’m asking for this year is some Christmas advertising that isn’t a tangled mess of tinsel dross. I want to be entertained and excited, not bored by brands banging on about themselves, listing all their “AMAZING OFFERS” – or worse – aggressively trying to be cool. Having had a think about it (and a good look online at what’s actually out there) I think I know what I want.
So to jump into it, I’d really love to see an ad for ASDA that uses Micky Bubbles in an unexpected way. Ideally he’d deliver a surprisingly good performance as a highly demanding boss-tenor who only expects the best. I’d love to see him casually assessing all the hard work, and food innovation that’s taking place at ASDA towers ahead of the festive season, without all those gratuitous (and boring) in-supermarket shots that no-one cares about. Just don’t make him sing at the end, we all know who he is.
I’d also really love it if you could deliver me an new ad for ALDI. That Kevin the carrot character really is very charming and I love that he keeps reappearing. BUT at this time of year we see an awful lot of families-around-the-table and parents-in-the-kitchen SO please please please can you deliver me something wonderful, something fun, and something that really feels like the magic of Christmas. Like a “Willy-Wonka-meets-Happiness-Factory-by Coke” but for food or something. Yeah, that’d be ace.
I know it might be a bit rogue, but I’d also really like to see an ad that shows me an unexpected Christmas ad. One that’s set at Christmas, that uses unexpected imagery, that uses wit, humour and brilliant casting, but doesn’t fall into the same old tropes of over-styled people in homes that don’t exist in the real world. I reckon Peroni would be a good contender, they’ve got all that lovely Italian heritage and it’d be nice to see a beer ad back on the telly that isn’t trying to save the world.
And should your advert making elves fail you, (because they may all be as knackered as we all are) please can you send me a copy of that Coca-Cola short film Ad that Taikka shot a couple of years ago. Y’know, the one with the offshore wind-farm, the little boat, the amazing environments with questionable geographic sequencing, and the world famous Christmas Coke-mobile and tear jerking twist at the end. It felt Christmassy, it felt epic and it had a nice warm feel to it without trying to ram Christmas products down my chimney.
OK. Thanks Santa.
I’m off to make you some mince-pies, because it’ll save a couple of quid and will keep the kids quiet for an hour or so. I’ve got some decent brandy left over from last year that I’ll leave out for you. Just stick it in your hip flask and save it for when you get home. No-one wants to see Father Christmas drink driving.
Ben
Ben Middleton is CCO and co-founder at Creature
