Well, it’s finally over and England and France played the best match of the tournament whilst Spain and the Argie Bargies played the worst. Serves ‘em right for messing with the Falklands! Meantime FIFA found even more ways to suck up ad dollars to fund even more golden trophies for mega football fan Donald Trump. (“What’s a Red Card?”) With the introduction of such “Only in the USA” things as hydration breaks, pre-game shows and never ending half-time extravaganzas featuring assorted geriatric show biz stars, the ad dollars came rolling in.
FIFA President Gianni Infantino burnished his ever growing corruption record in an effort to overtake his predecessor, Sepp Blatter (memorably referred to as “Step Ladder” by Hugh Dennis on the British TV classic, Mock the week.) Who in five terms as President creamed off millions in TBE’s, (Thick Brown Envelopes.) whilst managing to build the world’s biggest and most valuable collection of diamond encrusted vintage watches. Hey, why not. At least he didn’t create fictitious FIFA Peace Prizes for his Orange BFF.
While all this was going on, it seemed to me that virtually all the ads jammed into the interminable event featured David Beckham flashing his tattoos whilst wielding circular saws from Home Depot, drinking Nun’s Piss beer and flogging underwear. Hordes of other players, both active and retired, also trousered millions for appearing in dozens of pathetic ads for all kinds of stuff I can’t even remember.
On a final note… Donald Trump has suggested that “next year’s” World Cup should once again be held in the US. Perhaps in Greenland after America has invaded, occupied and created the fifty first state! Posh could design something nifty in fur for David’s TV shoots during that.
