Just one month ago, MAA Staff, in their infinite wisdom wrote.. “WPP is launching its new Enterprise Solutions suite, one of the pillars of Cindy Rose’s new WPP. At least that’s what we think it is. One thing we’re learning about techies is that they protect their cult with a private language which only they understand and which excludes most of us.”
The sterling MAA Staff then presents us with mind numbing samples from WPP’s announcement, including this gem.. “Agentic Commerce – Converting brand equity and product truth into machine-readable signals that shape how AI agents discover, evaluate and recommend brands.”
Apart from the fact that Cindy Rose’s new WPP is about to become her old WPP as she is shown the door after less than a year’s, not quite stellar tenure, we should perhaps recognize that this bastardization of the English language is nothing more than the latest AI Slop we are constantly bombarded with by BDA’s (Big Dumb Agencies) and BDHC’s (Big Dumb Holding Companies).
It is also yet another mind-numbing illustration of how AI has become the latest flavor du jour for the Adverati in their never-ending chase of the next big thing. Whatever that is, but it is something you should definitely climb aboard before the train leaves the station, and you end up in penury for the rest of your miserable life. Personally, over the years I’ve realized that sometimes it’s better to grab a third martini, relax, and wait for the next train.
Most of the time, you’ll be far better off having missed out on the sheer exuberance and froth of whatever was on offer. Readers may remember that a few months ago I wrote about the transmogrification of US sneaker company, Allbirds to AI company, Smartbirds. Yes, a failing shoe company signed up for the upcoming all encompassing future of everything… Fucking AI. At the time of the announcement the company shares were trading at $30. Today they are hovering at just over $2.00. Perhaps they should have stuck with peddling their fur lined Crocs!
