Hello Snapfax fans and welcome to our latest celebration of the top shreds of the last seven days, as we forensically examine the waste bin under our fax shredder connected to the internet.
In fact, seeing as it’s a celebration, do you fancy a glass of something fizzy? Maybe some prosecco?
Because in at Number Five is Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson, who warned Italy they may lose sales of their sparkling wine in Britain unless the country backed his preferred Brexit deal.
Boris made the threat to Italian economic development minister Carlo Calenda in what soon descended into a less than cork-popping squabble.
Speaking after the exchange, Mr Calenda told Bloomberg that he replied: ‘’Maybe we’re going to lose some prosecco; you’re going to lose some fish and chips exports. The difference is I’m going to lose [exports] to one country, you to 27. Putting things on this level is a bit insulting.”
Salt and vinegar? Open or wrapped, Mr Calenda?
Still in the Snapfax chart but moving up to Number Four meanwhile is interim Ukip leader Nigel Farage who flew over to the US for an opportunistic meeting president-elect Donald Trump.
Farage became the first British politician to meet Trump after his election when he gatecrashed Trump Towers to be photographed with the billionaire US election victor in front of a gold lift.
He then offered to be a go-between to build bridges between Theresa May and the new American administration – an offer swiftly dismissed by Number 10.
Farage had a hissy fit at the rejection, accusing the prime minister and her “ghastly apparatchiks” of “cutting their nose off to spite their face” by refusing to capitalise on his good relationship with Trump.
However, there are now rumours that May is considering making Farage a Lord to improve US/UK relations and butter up Mr Trump by garlanding his new BFF – which saw even more of you rushing to cram Farage’s face in the shredder.
Talking of Trump, in at Number Three is a new entry – a certain Stephen Bannon.
In at Number Two is the Football Association. Following their 3-0 win over Scotland (four days before their friendly with Spain), England footballers celebrated the end of their working week by partying into the early hours of Saturday – their day off. Wayne Rooney even had the temerity to go to a wedding.
Naturally, the FA has now banned players from having nights out whilst on ‘international duty.’ Spoilsports.
But straight in at Number One is the mannequin challenge.
The latest internet sensation is video meme where people stay frozen in action and get filmed. It’s like an internet epidemic of those dreadful human statues in Covent Garden and not nearly as funny as the end of every episode of Police Squad (ask your dad).
We never thought we’d say it, but bring back the Harlem Shake – our shredder is so jammed it’s ironically almost at a standstill…