Sorrell’s pay hits £30m, Dessie sells Channel 5 for £450m, David’s second coming for ‘subservient chicken’

***More from the wonderful world of adland and its parallel universe of ridiculous pay awards: WPP boss Sir Martin Sorrell trousered £29.8m in 2013, despite having his base pay reduced after shareholders moaned quite loudly about his previous pay packet. Something over £20m but what’s a few million between ‘frenemies?’

Sorrell received £4.1 million from short-term incentive plans in 2013, up 33.7 per cent year on year, and £22.7 million from long-term incentive plans, double the £11.4 million he received a year earlier.

Quite what the dickhead shareholders and the devoted spaniels on WPP’s remuneration committee thought they were doing is a mystery – Sorrell has clearly run rings around them.

Is SMS worth this sort of dosh? WPP has had a good couple of years but it’s not that spectacular. Most of the first quarter’s profit increase went down the tubes because of adverse currency movements. I thought big companies could hedge these.

And so it goes..

Unknown-5***Richard Desmond (left), owner of Channel 5 in the UK is a mate of Sir Martin Sorrell (or used to be anyway) and Dickie will be even richer than his old pal SMS when he unloads his terrestrial TV network to MTV and Comedy Central owner Viacom for a reported £450m. Desmond’s Northern and Shell newspaper and porn TV operation bought Channel 5 from Germany’s RTZ for about £100m four years ago.

Desmond has turned the loss-making channel round by slashing costs and buying Big Brother after Channel 4 dumped the high-rating show. What can you say? Let’s hope Viacom brings a bit of class to the enterprise, but don’t bet the house on it.

***I was walking along Tottenham Court Road in London today when I was confronted by two ‘chuggers’ (aka charity muggers paid to solicit donations) in the cause of bees. Now I’ve nothing against bees (although I’m not too keen on wasps) but why should I worry about bees?

Well, Greenpeace thinks I should.

There’s just too much to worry about these days. I should be worrying about the likes of Martin Sorrell and Richard Desmond – despite their undoubted abilities – becoming unconscionably rich.

***This is a film by David, new custodians of the Burger King account, reviving CP+B’s notorious ‘Subservient Chicken.’ And it’s had over 2.3m Youtube views.

I think I’ll just go away and die in a corner.

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