Female admirers will win UK general election for Clegg – official

According to polls carried out by your team of correspondents it’s a racing certainty that the Liberal Democrats and Nick Clegg will win the majority share of the vote in the forthcoming UK general election because girls like him much more than they do Tory leader David Cameron or incumbent PM Gordon Brown (perish the thought).

Cameron is regarded by the nation’s womenfolk as slippery, untrustworthy and just too posh. “The kind of guy who would take you out for dinner and not pay the bill,” said one respondent, which seems a tad harsh. But apparently he only appeals to really posh girls, like wife Samantha, a scion of the Astor family.

Clegg, on the other hand, is regarded as quite nice and fanciable, and not a wimp at all which is the way he’s seen by some of the males inhabiting the public bar (a metaphor these days as there aren’t any).

Furthermore they’re not at all worried by his boast to GQ columnist Piers Morgan that he’s slept with “not more than 30 women” before he met his current, rich and Spanish wife Miranda. Lots of blokes thought he was making this up but, according to our poll, maybe he wasn’t.

As for Brown he doesn’t really score at all in these stakes, he is 15 years older than his two smarmy rivals after all. And George Clooney he isn’t.

So there you have it. Ignore the polls, Clegg will walk it because the nation’s females would quite like to go to dinner with him and they’d be confident he’d pay the bill.

You May Also Like

About Stephen Foster

Stephen is a former editor of Marketing Week and London Evening Standard advertising columnist. He wrote City Republic for Brand Republic and is a partner in communications consultancy The Editorial Partnership.